👋 Hi, I'm Todd Motto
Yep, that was me for much of my 20's - overweight, aching, agitated, angry, lethargic, anxious - not the person I wanted to be. Slowly destroying myself. I'm 30 now and in the best shape of my life, physically and mentally.
The goal was never to lose weight, get strong or be fast - that came later. For me, I made these changes to address my mental health. I had no choice, really.
In sharing my journey I hope to inspire others to take action and pick yourself up like I did. It was the toughest thing I've ever done.
🧠 Mental Health and Darkness
When you reach the bottom mentally and physically, it's true - the only way is up.
I was (finally) diagnosed with depression aged 29. I'd experienced awful feelings many times before, and it made me realise so much about myself, my past actions and 'episodes' of darkness. I finally understand myself.
Depression doesn't mean I was 'sad' about something. Far from it, I have a lot to be thankful for. It is an uncontrollable gut-wrenching daily fear, panic, anxiousness, restlessness - even suicidal thoughts.
When you don't want to be alive anymore, it's a sad realisation. I lost all care for the world, the people around me. Being awake was simply awful. Did I want to feel like that? Hell no.
🥶 Stepping into Uncomfortable
You will learn who you truly are when you are thrown outside your comfort zone. I was forced to, and it was the best thing that's ever happened.
I started swimming in my local pool, the chemical changes to my brain quickly became apparent from all the exercise I started doing. I started feeling better, faster, could think clearly. It helped me cope. Then, the world plummeted into global lockdown. I had to swim, at all costs.
I searched local lakes, bought a wetsuit, taught myself freestyle swimming. Face down in the cold water, not being able to see anything, with little swimming experience, it was truly the most uncomfortable thing I've ever done.
But, it saved me. Truly. The lake made me realise so much. It's beauty, the connection to nature (and myself). It gave me the timeout from reality that my mind needed. I was more in the moment than I'd ever been, the darkness began slowly turning into light. The endorphins rushed through me. A new chapter began.
🏆 Beat Yesterday
Fast-forward 12 months, and here I am. I've lost over 30kg of fat in the process and am in the best shape of my life! I aim to exercise every day. It's how I cope, manage.
I like to call it "keeping the demons at bay". Instead of turning to drugs and alcohol, the secret is to exercise. I very rarely drink, I have been free from drugs for a year - I no longer need to numb my internal pain. My realisation is that to be better - I need to push my limits.
By physically pushing your limits, you will mentally push yourself further than you ever thought you could. That's when you recreate who you are.
Sure, you don't need to exercise quite as excessively as I do, I swim 2500m-3000m per day, pretty much every day. I have so much to share with you, and I hope to inspire you to take action in some way or another. I want you to simply beat yesterday's "you".